You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
