White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
