You really coming over, don't trick.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
