you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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