You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
