I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize