mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
