I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
