My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
