this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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