i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
