I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
