Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
