I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
