i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
