so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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