How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
