come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
