i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
