yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
