the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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