Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
