tell your sister to shave her snatch
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
