I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My pussy is not your playground.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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