You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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