normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
