Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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