Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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