the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I came so hard my ears popped.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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