his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize