do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
