I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
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