Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
