My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize