sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
