Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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