Already got asked if we're dating
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
