She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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