I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
