I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
