Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
