just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
