She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
