grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i think i just lost a toe
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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