And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
