She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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