I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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