You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
