why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize