I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
worst night to have a conscience
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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