he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
