Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
