So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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