I must be too annoying 4 u.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
only if we run a train.
done.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
