there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
