he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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