I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
