i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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