There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
