Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
