Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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