Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
